All you need is a basic understanding of human psychology.
I won’t be telling you what I did. Instead, I will do it here and now, as you are reading.
I’ve always been a fan of persuasion and sales, but I never gave written sales copy a chance. I never knew it existed until recently.
I picked a random Udemy course and made some improvements to its headline. Here’s a screenshot of the original content.
Unfortunately, it’s not a bestseller. Let’s try and make it so.
Adding A Hook To The Title
Let’s talk about the course title: “Solid Selling/Sales Standards.”
That is not an exciting headline. It doesn’t make you feel like taking out your wallet and handing out our instructor some money. On the contrary, it’s highly technical and barely has emotions in it.
A headline must be precise, to the point and should entice potential clients to learn more about your product. Adding emotional triggers will help. Perhaps a promise, or even the fear of missing out on a secret.
Here are some suggestions, along with a short analysis of each.
- “Unconventional Sales Tactics That Will Boost Your Sales”
- “Sales Tactics You Need To Close More Deals”
- “The In’s & Out’s of Sales: Everything you need to 10X your sales numbers.”
These titles are good because they are specific. The person reading them will understand what this course is about and how it could help them. Simply put, it will boost their sales numbers and help them improve their outcome.
The first headline includes the word Unconventional. It’s a word that implies learning something different. A secret that few know about: it gives the reader the feeling of being unique because they will learn something others don’t know. The second part of this headline indicates that these tactics will boost your sales. This indication is a promise of some sort. It specifies the benefits this course will provide you.
The second title plays on a different string of emotions: fear. The word need is critical because it makes the reader believe he requires what the course offers. In the reader’s mind, it sounds something like this: “If I don’t take this course, I will never be able to close more deals. I NEED this.”
The last title is, in a way, a combination of the previous ones—a magnified version of some sort. In one part, the use of In’s and Out’s suggests that the student will get access to the nitty-gritty details of the sales process. In the second part, it promises the student a desired outcome: to 10X your sales.
Introducing Bait: Working On A Subheader
Let’s have a look at the subheader of that course: “Sales skills/strategies, A-Z from planning to prospecting to encountering to closing — Includes technology tools.”
You might look at this and think: “Well, Mo, what’s wrong with it? It’s specific, tells you what you need to know about the course, and it is short.”
Hmm… I would disagree. From my perspective, it’s just wrong in multiple ways, shapes and forms. Let me give you some context.
The title and the subheader we’re analysing are part of the course’s landing page. However, they are the most important because they are what appears first to the customer. Potential students will see this before they can see any details about the course.
They won’t click on the landing page if your headline and subheadline do not spark their curiosity. And a subheader like this one is not interesting enough. You want to instil in your prospect the desire to know more about your product. You also want to be a little more specific than the title. Therefore, you need to showcase the benefits the prospects would get if they buy the course.
Here are some suggestions of the top of my head:
- “From prospecting to closing: the streamlined process that helps me land 24 new clients every month.”
- “A step-by-step guide to becoming the top salesperson in your company, even if you just started”
- “Access the tactics, tools, and processes that will make you a sales force to be reckoned with.”
All these options have one thing in common: they showcase the benefit of taking this course. The first option suggests you will be able to land a certain number of clients every month. That number could differ from industry to industry. Unless you have specified what industry that is and whether 24 new clients is a good number for that particular industry, it would be better to edit this subheader. Instead of 24 new clients, we would say: “From prospecting to closing: the streamlined process that helps me land the most clients every month.” However, it’s not as specific as I would like it to be.
The second option suggests that you could become the top salesman in your company. Now that is a benefit I wouldn’t want to miss on. Even if I just started in sales. EVEN BETTER. I would like to know more about that guide! Wouldn’t you? *eyes rolling*
Finally, the last option has a little less emotional play but still presents you with the benefit of becoming a sales force to be reckoned with. Meh. I’m not too fond of this headline. It’s a little too broad and too good to be true. It makes you sound desperate to sell — a try-hard.
If I had to choose, I would go with option number 2.
Keep in mind that these are merely suggestions, and there is a lot more that should be considered. For example, the headlines and subheadlines could be improved and tailored to a more specific audience. They can also include a combination of emotions that spark the reader’s interest.
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